I have not always been a materialist. I used to think a lot about abstract objects to the point of being obsessed of them, ignoring The material world all together.

In some ways I was like hardcore idealists, thinking the material was a creation of the mind. The mind/spirit was more important than the physical self and world.

This ways of thinking did not get me very far. I was confused and frustrated with my relationship to the world. which perhaps why I chose to change my way of thinking, to abandon privileging the mind and spirit. Because every time I try to function with mind and spirit in priority I ended up failing, or dissatisfied with the outcome.

To cut to the chase, by dealing with this body in this world it took care of the mind and spirit. I was not neglecting them but they were better for this flipping of properties. The world became more manageable. My mind and spirit then also became more manageable as well.

This transformation was not overnight but gradual, and it took many years of trial and error until reaching where I am now. And even then I am still not fully whereI want to be but much closer and also heading in the right direction. Prioritizing the mind, spirit and abstract objects had literally felt like being led in the complete opposite direction far from where I had wanted to be.

Where I want to be is not a physical or material place but I can’t reach there without prioritizing the physical over the ideal. This much I know.